Numlock News: March 8, 2023 • Elf on the Shelf, Foam, Spirit
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By Walt Hickey Elf on the Shelf The company behind the Elf on the Shelf has cut a deal with HarperCollins for 11 books exploring what it describes as “The Elf on the Shelf universe,” crafting backstories behind the surveillance-themed Christmas phenomenon. Since launch in 2005, Limistella Co. has sold over 19.5 million Scout Elves, which are placed around the home to scare children into believing they’re under the constant surveillance of a polar demigod and to inure children to the realities of life under a domestic intelligence apparatus. Given the Elf on the Shelf’s extensive experience in breaking and entering, in counterintelligence and espionage, it stands to reason this 11-book deal will explore the covert field career of the elite agent known only as “Scout” before he entered lucrative private sector work. Infiltration of reindeer labor activist groups. Sabotage of enemy attempts to enrich pixie dust. Arming the Grinch in ‘82 when he was fighting the Soviets. Orchestrating military-led coups of the Gum Drop Kingdom. Stoking sectarian conflict between the Heat and Snow Miser forces. The controversial assassination of the Grinch in the late ‘90s. Every drop of blood in the snow, explored. The deal also includes an additional cook book.
Even though I am Jewish, I have an Elf on a Shelf. I also have a Mensch on a Bench and just acquired a "Snoop on a Stoop". I plan to position them in the same room and let them fight it out.
“which are placed around the home to scare children into believing they’re under the constant surveillance of a polar demigod and to inure children to the realities of life under a domestic intelligence apparatus.” HE KNOWS WHEN YOUVE BEEN SLEEPING! HE KNOWS WHEN YOU’RE AWAKE! HE KNOWS WHEN YOUVE BEEN BAD OR GOOD SO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE! Aaaaaaaaiiiiieeeee =o
Even though I am Jewish, I have an Elf on a Shelf. I also have a Mensch on a Bench and just acquired a "Snoop on a Stoop". I plan to position them in the same room and let them fight it out.
“which are placed around the home to scare children into believing they’re under the constant surveillance of a polar demigod and to inure children to the realities of life under a domestic intelligence apparatus.” HE KNOWS WHEN YOUVE BEEN SLEEPING! HE KNOWS WHEN YOU’RE AWAKE! HE KNOWS WHEN YOUVE BEEN BAD OR GOOD SO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE! Aaaaaaaaiiiiieeeee =o